A Time of Daring Transition
Article by Ken Anbender - October 1, 2001

 

For many of us, the events of September 11th initiated a period of transition where we know that over time our lives will not be the same. We see this time as not merely requiring a few minor changes that can be addressed with old modes of thought and relating, but recognize that some of our old orientations, actions and ideas are now trivial and shallow relative to the challenges we see in front of us. To many of us, these challenges seem to be more central than usual - challenges of determining what we stand for in human relations, determining what is really important and of lasting value, and determining a proper central focus for our contributions to others. We find that we are being called to alter, in a fundamental way, how we relate to life.

For some of us, this transition started earlier than September 11th, and the disruption and turmoil of that day just added to the urgency of the transition and brought the true demands of our times into greater relief. At Contegrity, we have been actively working on a deepening of our work and a fundamental alteration of our structures since March of this year. The staff is writing to you to include you in the transition that is underway with our work, and to offer what we can in assisting you in the transitions called for by your own development and the challenge of our times.

When we speak of a transition, we are differentiating those changes that have a deeper demand. They require an alteration of how we relate to life in order for the changes being called for to have "legs" -- to have a stable base on which to stand and move forward. At times like these, it is important to think and to question and to reconsider the basis on which we are tempted to address the circumstances in front of us. Chances are great that the old modes are not sufficient to a fulfilling power and inspired freedom in the new environment. These challenging times, more important than their being an insult to our old modes of behavior, are really an invitation to evolution - for us to become a truer reflection of what we were given to be - whether that be Americans of deeply held values that are distinct from what they have historically solidified to be, or whether it be rediscovering our courage and passion and trust of life as distinct from fear and doubt-based withdrawal and protection. Now is a time for the courage and boldness to become something new and deeper, something more connected and more individual at the same time, something truer to what we have to provide, forged in the fires of difficult times.

There are several ways of relating to times of transition. First, we can be stuck and resist and resent change - doing all we can to maintain the viability of an obsolete mode of relating to life. The short-term advantage of knowing how to operate is quickly offset by the long-term disadvantage of having no real power to deal with the situation that requires something new and something more. Ultimately, reality comes to be seen as suppressive when the challenge isn't met with development.

A second mode for dealing with the times is to change. Often, this kind of change is experienced as enforced, and as such isn't embraced as much of an opportunity. We only change as much as we feel forced to and stop short of having any real power in the situation. We adapt, in the cheapest sense of the word. We become the mere result of the situation - a different person and unfortunately, different than we were meant to be.

A third alternative to dealing with the challenge is to transform our orientation. This response includes responsibility. We say we will become what is sufficient to the situation. We invent an altered base for operating, a new orientation. This approach gets us beyond being the victim of the situation and into a new mode of power. Its main downside is that we may not become more of ourselves. Our resolution may be more of what the situation wants us to be and not necessarily more of what we are intended to be. We can find more power and lose our souls.

The fourth alternative is to go for integration - to become what we and the situation are intended to be. In this approach, we listen to ourselves, and others, and to what life is calling for, and listen even more deeply for what integrates and fulfills life. We go where that whole orientation calls. When it turns out, life is more fulfilling, we are more of ourselves, life is simpler and more focused, and it was all worth it. We are more deeply connected to a source of power for fulfilling life. It is this approach that we are dedicated to at Contegrity, and we intend to bring it to a new depth in our work and in the challenge of our times.

Let us bring you up to date regarding transitions at Contegrity. We are about to enter our second decade in January and we can already see the beginning direction that one is likely to go. If the first decade was about gathering those interested in exploring what ongoing community-supported development can bring to a life, and inventing methods and structures that let us experiment with that, the second decade will be more engaged with the power of fulfillment - that which leads to passion, joy, grace, and a focused, simplified, and dedicated life. Ken has been exploring this area and has made some deep discoveries that have resolved his health. He intends to build the next phase of Contegrity on a deeper foundation of a direct and immediate relationship to what does integrate and fulfill life.

In support of this direction, Ken will be leading two - experimental - programs in October and November to explore what it takes to establish that connection - a grace connection, a health connection, a focusing and simplifying connection. The outcome of those experimental programs will be brought into the Special Program in January and made more widely available as part of foundational work on a deep belonging to life beyond distrust. The Special Program in January will be the - transition - between the first decade of Contegrity (Phase I) and the second decade (Phase II), and will kick off a year-long program that alters the structure of Contegrity to a form more suited to the aims of the second decade.

In December, Ken will lead a new one-day program in Boston called "What's Important". It will present the approach behind our offerings for 2002 and give a method for reorienting our lives around what is of real importance to us. That program, and the year to follow, will provide a counterbalance to the tendency of our times to pull for busyness and distraction at the cost of peace and wisdom.

Since March, Ken has been working with people in individual sessions called Transition Consulting. These three-day sessions have given him a grounding in what it takes to support people in evolving beyond old identities and images that are too small or too distracted to fulfill the challenges that difficult times or new stages of life present. The outcome of those sessions has been to provide to people a clarity and interpretation of the specific evolution that is being called for from them and to work it down to a direction of evolution and a set of specific goals. In light of the current historical times and the chance we have to rethink what is important to us, we are working on a way of offering quite soon a public version of Transition Consulting to directly support people whose lives seem on the verge of a large change and want to move through it with a clarity about what will be the central development called for and what there is to let go of and put to rest as well.

In 2002, we will restructure Contegrity's main public offerings so that Ken and Gail can work directly with people on a regular and consistent basis, and so that we can move the entire Contegrity community forward in a focused way. Starting with the January Special Program, Belonging to Life: Human Nature and the Nature of Nature, we will offer a program every three months that continues and builds the central development work we are doing together. We are asking that all of us come together as a community and be in development as one - that we gather on a regular basis and work together and bring our power together for and with each other.

As we said, the direction we are headed is tapping the power of fulfillment, and connecting to a source of courage, grace, and passion that leads there. During, 2002, we will begin by addressing at a deep level, belonging to life and the resolution of distrust. We will build from there to addressing courage and the resolution of fear. From there, we will deepen an approach of appreciation and take on the resolution of envy (which is much more prevalent than you would expect and much more deadly). Toward the end of the year we will take on resolving doubt and self-doubt in favor of trust.

The idea behind the work of 2002 is for us to be freed from much of what saps our spirit and harms our soul and depletes our bodies. To be free of the undermining influences of fear and doubt and envy and distrust, and to be passionately focused on what is yours to provide and privileged to do it from a deep source of power, are two contributions to your vitality whose depths are hard to overestimate. We invite you to orient to these directions and take them on for the next year as of deep and abiding importance - for you, for others around you, and for where our world is going.

Each of us has our own orientation to the times we are in and the issues with which we wrestle. The staff of Contegrity is committed to offering a way that we can each address the specifics of our lives from something deeper and more central to life. In doing so, we think that we can bring the power of belonging to a community that is interested in what is true and fulfilling to the more personal investigations of who we each are and what our relationship to life is calling to be. We are looking to do this together, and we invite you to bring your passion and energy, your wit and your wisdom, your heart and your soul to making sure that the evolutionary opportunity is not squandered here.

There are several ways of engaging with us regarding these transitions. You can be an early adopter or intentional cause of this evolution in Contegrity, or you can be a supporter of where we are going, or you can watch and listen and see where it is going and how it is going and jump in when you are moved to.

So far the staff has "done you proud" - rethinking and re-looking and reorienting to jobs and ways of working and ideas of Contegrity and coming to a new collaborative relationship that can evolve Contegrity. This process has affected each of us deeply and called on us to be something new. And we are glad to become that.

In some cases, we have had to restructure jobs in Contegrity so that we have the room to transition to the next phase. In doing so, we have had to make some difficult but timely and appropriate choices. In each case, all of the staff has supported the changes in service of the new direction. Deb Jaferian will spend more time in her career as a physical therapist while also looking for new opportunities to provide leadership to where we are going. Gail Cantor will be leading the programs as they have been scheduled from now though the Special Program - including Life Design and Essence of Leadership. And Ken will lead the first Essence of Leadership II in January.

As we centralize our main programs and free up some of the time we have spent leading programs repeatedly around North America, many of you will find that you have more direct contact with Gail and with Julie than we have been able to provide for some time. Ken Anbender intends to work more directly and more consistently with participants and leaders than he has been able to do since the early years of Contegrity. We think that we are entering an exciting time with more depth of partnership and more fulfilling development available now than ever before. We ask you to find your place in it.

If you see yourself as an "early adopter" or causer of where we are going, we invite you to be in the experimental program on the East or West Coast if they are not already full and closed. (There are four seats left as of this writing of this letter.) Also, consider whether Transition Consulting will be fitting for you when we are likely to offer it in December. We ask that you ensure that you are in the Special Program to complete Phase I and establish Phase II of our work, and that you establish Contegrity as your "development motor" by being in the 4-sessions-per-year of engagements with Ken and Gail. If you would like to provide leadership to people in Contegrity through local support, be in the Leader Program. And orient yourself to development as of critical importance to how you live over the next year and beyond.

If you see yourself as a supporter of Contegrity, please ensure your participation in the Special Program in January and establish that as a base for the next year. Partner up with us through the development motor of the four-sessions-per-year with Ken and Gail. Listen for other programs that are fitting for you and take them if they call to you (Life Design, Essence of Leadership, Communicating Across Differences, Communication Connectivity and Power). And also, take on development as central and important over the next year to how you live whether things get better or worse or go up or go down. The importance of development doesn't really change with the circumstances.

If you feel like a "watcher" and need to see others test the waters first, keep connected to others as they participate in the experimental programs or the What's Important one-day course. Talk with them afterwards. Get your sense of what is happening and see if its relevant to you. Be in the Special Program in January to close out Phase I of Contegrity and help initiate Phase II, and use what happens there to determine for yourself whether you want to avail yourself of the development motor we are building through the 4-session-a-year structure. Track your own transition, and compare your clarity and power and fulfillment in it to those who are addressing theirs with Contegrity's help. Move when it's your time to move - and we won't wait. Our job will be to go out ahead and blaze the trail.

The staff invites you to be a central player in seeing that we all go through this evolution well - that we learn to reap the benefits of transition, that we deepen the power of Contegrity as an approach to development that is fulfilling, and that we build a new depth of power in Contegrity as a community of people supporting each others fulfillment through development. There is room for you to take as big of a role as you can responsibly ask for.

Please stay in touch with us during this transition, ask the questions you have, make the suggestions you have to make, and help us ensure that we all emerge from this stronger, more connected, deeper, more fulfilled, and with more to provide to each other. You are invited to be a major player in seeing that a deepening and enrichment of life comes from the challenges to our past ways of living. Let's do that together.

Questions? We would like to hear from you. Please contact us.